A forum for Healers and Seekers
1. They're just a friendIs there a strange person answering their phone? Sleeping on their couch? Spending late nights with your lover? They probably are a"friend"… but one who they also occasionally sleep with. People tell this lie because they want to get the most they possibly can out of all the opposite sex encounters. The "friend" is not good enough to be a partner… but they don't want to end things completely in case things don't work out with you.
2. I'm ready to settle downThere are two reasons why (generally) men who are actually not ready to settle down say they are. One is that they think you want to hearit. They assume women are only interested in men looking for a wife and babies, so they say whatever they think will help get them laid. The other reason men say they want to settle down is because they genuinely believe they want to settle down… until they are in the position to actually make the commitment. Then they may suddenly decide it's not what they wanted after all.
3. It's not you, it's meSometimes it really is you. Most casual lovers are not keen on the fine art of polite conflict resolution. Where one person might feel comfortable telling another they're not interested, others are much more afraid of direct communication. When they say, "It's not you, it's me," they're really saying "I'm just not that into you." Take it for what it is and move on.
4. It only happened onceWhen your lover is exposed as a cheater, the first excuse they will offer is that is was a "one-time thing." In reality, cheating is usually a pattern of behavior that is rooted in much more than a one-time lapse of judgment. If your partner cheats and swears it will never happen again, don't just take them at their word. You just can't trust that they'll be honest about something they already felt comfortable enough to lie to you about.
5. I'd never lie to youMost fudges of truth are meant to protect your feelings and don't necessarily reflect any commitment to an honest, open relationship. It may speak to bigger issues if your lover continually asserts how honest they are. If they frequently make a big deal of assuring you that they never lie to you, it may be a sign that they're overcompensating for dishonesty.
There are always exceptions to these and most people are far from perfect. But if your lover is uttering any of these common fibs (or fables, since some little white lies can turn very, very dark), it's a call to attention. And that's what you've got to do when you suspect something -
consider yourself warned.