As human beings, our myriad life experiences shape us and change us. While this is inevitable, our ability to let go of negative thoughts and emotions such as hatred, fear, anger, and the
need to control, is our most effective tool in controlling and counteracting
the emotional baggage we have accumulated on our life journey. Only when we are
able to release ourselves from past hurts, can we open ourselves to others and
love them with the fullness of our being. Detaching from that which lessens our
spirits, frees us to love in this way. Of the many ways that we attach
ourselves to negative thought patterns and

behavior
, there are a few that bear special
mention. Let’s take a look at letting go…

 

…About Control  

It’s not just personalities that feel the need to control everything in their environment. When it comes to love, many people unconsciously erect barriers and encase themselves in an emotional
armor in an attempt to tightly control life’s many variables. The almost
limitless unknowns in life can be scary, and as a result the human heart might
end up being the most protected part of who you are. But there is a reason for
the popular saying “control is just an illusion” indeed, all you can control is
yourself, other people’s actions and feelings will always be wild cards, given
that we all have free will. When you try to maneuver people’s emotions and
actions to make yourself feel more secure, you cheat both yourself and the
other person out of vital, organic experiences. The sad little truth about
control is that you may have it one minute, and lose it the next to the
unpredictable nature of life and people.

 

By detaching yourself from the need to control people and events, you are free to accept things as they come, celebrating the good and allowing the bad to roll off your psyche. So much
energy is put into trying to manage others, that when it blows up in your face,
you are devastated because you have invested so much of yourself in the
situation. Much better to live in the moment, take and enjoy life as it comes,
and allow things to happen naturally.

 

…About Past Hurts 

Virtually everyone has lived through a broken heart – a sad, yet inevitable fact of the human condition. Far more tragic, however, is the unbreakable wall that some build around their hearts to
protect themselves from further assaults. Moving on from a harmful relationship
is contingent upon the person’s ability to release bad experiences and not
harbor them in their hearts and bodies. The fears and emotional baggage you
take into a new relationship can easily kill it, and often does. To be able to
heal from the negative experience, to forgive yourself and your ex-partner for
whatever transpired, is imperative to moving on. With hurtful shadows on your
heart, you cannot give yourself completely to another. You will always be
holding a piece of yourself back, dedicated to mourning the past. This part of
you will make you fear loving another, always placing doubt between you and
your happiness with a new relationship.

 

The key is to find peace with whatever went on in these past relationships, accepting that you both did the best you could consider who you were at the time. Then just let it go. Mentally cleaning
out your “old, ruined relationships” closet will make room for something new
and exciting in your love life. It’s a wonderful and happy thought to focus on
the positive contributions a new love brings into your life without losing
sight of your power to choose the final outcome of that relationship. It’s a
most empowering and healing revelation to acknowledge that you will be able to
free yourself completely from a relationship should it go sour, and then
happily move on to sweeter things.

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