When Fear of Failure is just a coping mechanism; not a root cause

All of us fear failure. We do not want to fail - we do not want to be seen as failures - neither by others nor by ourselves. I've had a considerable amount of clients who come to deal with their fear of failure. Each case is individual and they have their own reasons to have developed that fear.

Yet one of the most common reasons for the fear of failure is, very strangely, Fear of Success. Very few clients are willing to go that deep and dig up this root. But when they do, even the most mature client is taken by surprise.

Weird as it may strike, it is true in many cases of fear of failure. These people fear success more than failure. And that fear of success in itself cannot be the root cause. It is, in turn, caused by deeper fear that is varied for each client. For some it is the fear of change, for others it is the fear of responsibilities that come with success, for more it is the fear of losing values, and for some it is fear their spiritual growth will halt after success. It is any of these fears that, over time, has given rise to fear of success and that, ingeniously, runs about in the guise of fear of failure.

For all, the definition of success is limited to material world or, at times, entirely warped out of shape. For them success is not continued growth in all areas of life and ongoing happiness, instead it is an end point that, once achieved, will take them to not an entirely desirable lifestyle. Such clients often regress to lifetimes when such beliefs had been formed.
When we believe we have a fear of failure, we must not ask ourselves what will happen if we fail. Rather, we must be questioning ourselves what will happen if we succeed. And that will lead us to the root cause for halted progress in our lives.

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Comment by Archana Baral on July 6, 2011 at 9:25pm

nice.thank u for sharing....


Comment by Archana on July 1, 2011 at 8:44am

Very nice! Thank you for sharing.

Comment by Sunita Shrestha on June 30, 2011 at 5:20pm
Very intersting. specially the last sentence.
Comment by JOY DEV on June 30, 2011 at 3:36pm

Beautiful lines and these thoughts have often echoed when i am with clients There is a beautiful quadrant technique in QTC to bring out this secondary gain thing.


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